She Sleeps

Right now as I type, she sleeps. I have to admit, for me, there is relief. We had another rough night. By far the worst we have had so far. Frustration overwhelms me. Not so much with her, but with me. I have no answers. Nothing I do works. I'm tired.

I have prayed, searched for solutions online, and have asked advice of others. It seems our situation is unique. No one has had the exact same obstacle to overcome. Yes, there are similar problems, but not exactly what we are going through.

I feel guilty. Not that I am not doing enough, but that I let myself get frustrated with the circumstance that is just part of the process. It's not her fault.

I am a fairly good mom, not perfect, but good. Yet, I fail to meet my own expectations. Or at least what I think a good mom should be.

Motherhood is not an exact science. Babies are not born the same. And there isn't always answers. But, what I can do is forgive myself in my shortcomings and trust God to bring me through.

"Those who trust in the LORD will receive new strength. They will fly as high as eagles. They will run and not get tired. They will walk and not get weak."    Isaiah 40:31